While growing up, I was always under the impression that when “bad” things happened to people, it was unfaithful or unChristian-like to doubt God or be angry with him or to blame or question him in the slightest. The go-to narrative seemed consistently to be that there is always a tangible reason for everything [enter superfluous amounts of scriptural proof-texts]: that everything works for the good of those who love him; that God doesn’t give more to us than we can bear; that it is because of some kind of sin that we are experiencing tragedy, and so on.
The danger of following this single-focussed narrative to its end is that it leads to a hopeless place. The illusion forms that there is no place in the Church or in the Christian life for us to be accepted and embraced wherever we may be emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, however “wrong” or in need of “fixing” it may be. When no place is made for embracing people in their pain and anguish without feeling the need to somehow justify that pain then the painful experience is de-legitimized and the individual can be left with the understanding that they are experiencing this chronic illness, broken relationship, or other such pain because of something they did or some kind of character flaw that they have.
I recently heard a presentation on the Book of Ruth that I found incredibly insightful regarding the place of lament in the Christian life. What I found so pointed, in particular, is in the introduction of the Book of Ruth when Naomi – the selfless and honourable woman of faith – laments before God. At the end of the first chapter we read of Naomi returning to Bethlehem from Moab with one of her Moabite daughter-in-laws, Ruth, in tow. When they entered the town, Naomi was unrecognisable to those in her hometown – her identity as a Bethlehemite had been significantly altered. So, when the women of the town questioned her identity, she responds:
“Call me no longer Naomi, call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt bitterly with me. I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty; why call me Naomi when the Lord has dealt harshly with me, and the Almighty has brought calamity upon me?”
Here we witness Naomi’s lament, an explicitly honest demonstration of utter despair and self-pity. Naomi has lost everything: her husband, her sons, her livelihood, and all that she knew to be good and true. In spite of her tragedy, she enters into a sacred space where she is, without a doubt, able to express her anger and bitterness towards the Lord unafraid of being considered unfaithful and without any thought that her words and actions would alter God’s faithfulness or loving-kindness towards her.
By being able to express her deep sorrow in this manner, Naomi demonstrates that she truly feels safe in the presence of God. In fact, the expression of her bitterness and anger towards God reveals not a weaker, but a greater and deeper faith in who God. Naomi trusts that the God to whom she pours out her lament is the One who can take all of it into Himself.
If we only respond to personal crisis and tragedy by explaining it away or squelching its reality in our lives, it truly becomes a denial of who we are. More importantly, it denies what God in Christ has told us we are and who He is for us. It is out of obedience and faithfulness that we can confidently acknowledge all that is weighing on our hearts and minds, all the sorrow and brokenness present in us and to, in faith, enter the sacred space where God is. For He is not only the Lord of joy and jubilation, but, thankfully and fortunately, the Lord of all pain and heartache also.
It is true, that we need to uphold the fact that God is an ever-faithful and ever-loving God who works in ways that are not always fathomable. In light of tragedies and disappointment, we need to trust in the faithfulness of God. However, within the safety of this relationship, we can truly be who we are – in all our complexities and sorrows – because of who God truly is for us and in us.
Despite Naomi’s bitterness towards God, she remains significant to the line of David and thus the coming of Christ. Naomi’s story – including her sorrow and anger – is a testament to what it means to truly believe in the Almighty God. So, even though in the end we know that God is justified in whatever action or inaction, the place of lament in our spiritual lives allows for the edification of our souls, minds, and hearts and to re-affirm that which is true and has always been true for us: Emmanuel, God with us.
